In 2025, I was happy. Like, really happy. I wasn't miserable before, far from it, but this past year was strange, as I've been having repeated episodes when I felt my heart was bursting with happiness. It's been going on for months now, and it's not subsiding, the feeling and frequency are only intensifying.

The relationship I have with my wife is great. We started dating in 2001, got married in 2007, so that’s almost 19 years of marriage, and 25 years of loving each other, and I love her even more. The relationship I have with my son is great. He’s 15, now a freshman in high school, and I feel a lot of accomplishment from teaching him math, computer science, or my values; plus I’m really proud of him, having bittersweet moments as I witness the man he’s growing into. Work is good. I’m a “Chapter Lead”, which is a fancy way of saying that I’m a cross-team manager while still having individual contributions. I still have a lot of passion for programming. And my winter break is now over, I’ve spent it with family and friends, and I’ve also read 5 fiction books in 2 weeks (yay!).

This is noteworthy for me because I’m usually grumpy and a pessimist. I was never diagnosed with depression, but I went through at least two burnouts; and the pandemic, with the subsequent war at our borders, hit me hard. I’ve always joked that having a family to take care of wouldn’t allow me to reach the bottom. And I do have a tendency for doom-and-gloom, which is why I’m lucky to have married an optimist.

I think that what changed is that I’ve started being more grateful. Getting older, you start realizing some obvious truths, such as the fact that life is actually good as long as you have your health, and your basic needs met, like food and shelter. And having fun, in the modern sense (e.g., travel, parties), is actually optional. Recharging batteries is important, but I’ve come to realize that what actually brings happiness is living with purpose and gratitude, which is hard work.

I’m now afraid it won’t last, nothing lasts, but right now each day for me is a gift, and I’m glad that I came to this realization before falling seriously ill, or some other tragedy that’s waiting around the corner. Being raised as an Orthodox Christian (non-practicing, and I was mostly agnostic in the past), I’ve never learned the true power of prayer — instilling gratitude by thanking God daily for the gifts I’ve received. This is similar to meditation sessions, focusing on breathing, to remind you that you’re still here and alive, but I find such meditation to be more shallow, as feeling alive doesn’t lead me to gratitude, unless I’m faced with serious life problems.

Disconnecting from web slop (like world news) certainly helped. I’ve come to realize that all online social media platforms are toxic, including Mastodon or Bluesky. To tell you the truth, these aren’t any less toxic than 𝕏/Twitter, their only redeeming quality being the ability to avoid the algorithmic feed, and thus curation works slightly better (but only slightly). The Web is dying due to AI slop, bots and negative people, but we can still find communities that are islands, tuned to our values and interests. And being too-online is bad for our mental health.

I maintain a social media presence strictly for learning programming, honing my craft, and for finding out more about interesting hobbies, or books recommendations. You know, the good stuff. I’ve had occasional doom-scrolling episodes, or political posts that I then deleted within 10 minutes. Someone is always wrong or an asshole on the Internet, some tragedy is always happening in other parts of the world, but growing older, I care less and less. I’m still not able to care only about what I can influence, but this Stoic philosophy of life is certainly my ideal.

Back in 2024, I had New Year’s resolutions that had to do with habits. What a waste. New Year’s should be a time for reflection, not for TODO lists. My 2026 New Year’s resolution is to keep doing what I’ve been doing — to be grateful, to strive to be a good person, to live with purpose, to maintain curiosity, to perfect my craft, to strive to be the best husband, father, colleague, and friend that I can be. I don’t have recipes for these, and I’ll fail a lot, but this path is what brings me joy.